Recipe Roundup

What to Cook When You’ve Been Dumped

It’s not all ice cream pints and sweatpants. Sometimes getting under an apron can help you get over the wrong person.
Two mugs of Molten Double Chocolate mug cake with scoops of vanilla ice cream.
Photo by Joseph De Leo, Food Styling by Kaitlin Wayne

For the very first time in my life, I was dumped last year. I know that sounds smug or whatever, but, reader, it hadn’t happened to me. Until it did. It was a mortal blow to my self-esteem that no amount of cocktails with friends or yoga classes could mitigate. (Sorry, yoga, I think I need kickboxing for a while.) And get out of here with your smelly candles and Ben & Jerry’s-for-dinner recommendations. This is not 2005; I am not Bridget Jones; and I know how to freakin’ cook.

Thanks to my kick-ass job, I have plenty of recipe resources and coworkers to help me vet said recipe resources. For instance: I use the Epi app pretty much all of the time—yes, out of loyalty, but also because I really, really loved Gourmet magazine. Those recipes remind me of the halcyon days before I knew the ignominy of being dumped, when my collection of antique mags was charming, not weird. When I cooked with boyfriends because it was more fun to stay in than go out. I never made it that far with Text Message Guy (my nickname for him, after his preferred style of breakup), but I got the feeling he was a picky eater. Be warned: A picky eater is not a good romantic prospect. I should have run.

I could write you a whole list of warning signs at this point (I’ve got some latent rage, obviously), but that belongs in another place. This is a safe, happy place that’s full of great food and frozen amaro. (Try it, you’ll like it.) So in an effort not to be that sad single 30-something with her nose in a pint of ice cream, I put together (with some help from the regulars at my favorite local bar) a little list of the best recipes to cook when you’ve been unceremoniously dumped. Let’s turn my humiliation into something delicious. Or, at the least, amusing.

  • Image may contain Plant Food Dish Meal Dessert and Chocolate
    Photo by Chelsea Kyle, Food Styling by Molly Baz
    1/8

    3-Ingredient Peppermint Rocky Road Candies

    Sometimes it's helpful to recognize that there was a rocky road leading to the breakup you've just experienced. This homemade candy is sweet, delicious, and easy—all of the things that a relationship should be but mine, let's just say, wasn't.

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  • Photo by Michael Graydon and Nikole Herriott
    2/8

    Winter Chicories With Date and Anchovy Dressing

    This dish celebrates bitterness, because bitterness is what gets you through sometimes. I love the bold bite of winter greens, their sturdiness, and the way that I can depend on them (unlike, ahem, some people) to stick around for a while. And the sweet-salty dressing here is so simple but so lovely.

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  • Photo by Jordan Hughes
    3/8

    Palomar Americano

    Speaking of bitterness being a good thing, this version of the Americano cocktail adds a bracing pour of coffee to the mix. It's an example of how a swap—a change—can sometimes go so, so right. I mean, something has to go right at some point, you know?

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  • Photo by Ted Cavanaugh
    4/8

    Banana Split Ice Cream Cake

    I said no ice cream, I know, but when you’re splitsville, you should recognize and (dare I say?) celebrate it with this superlative split. Ice cream cakes are special occasion desserts that bring up memories of pool parties and ice-skating parties and basically any party where your parents are footing the bill. But making one for yourself can be so satisfying and delicious. Those bright cherries on top might seem like they’re mocking your cold, dead soul, but take yourself back to middle school and use the stems to figure out if you’re a good kisser.

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  • Photo by Alex Lau
    5/8

    Garlic Broth

    This broth is restorative, nourishing, and wholesome—everything you want to run to when you've been dumped by a moron on a frickin' cell phone. I love making a pot of this broth and the way that it makes my teeny apartment smell. And I love that there's no one here to tell me not to make it.

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  • Photo by Joseph De Leo, Food Styling by Kaitlin Wayne
    6/8

    Molten Double Chocolate Mug Cake

    Welp. This one's a gimme. It's a cake for one. But the thing is, my colleague Genevieve Yam made a case for this one. And I never, ever ignore Yam when she's talking about cake. It's a perfect addition to my yoga pants-Netflix-couch equation. You could even top it with bitters-spiked whipped cream if you like.

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  • 7/8

    Lemony Chicken Milanese with Arugula Salad

    This chicken is delicious and it makes for great leftovers, which is just right when you're cooking for one. But the best part is this recipe requires a meat mallet. And some pounding. And that's incredibly satisfying.

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  • 8/8

    Bananas Foster

    Let's be real. You've been dumped. You've done all of the cathartic baking and cooking, but sometimes, you just need to set something on fire. But, as your trusty dumped Epi employee, I prescribe this recipe so you end up with something delicious, too.

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After finishing her MA in Food Studies at NYU, Kaylee Hammonds went on to work for Southern Living, Roads & Kingdoms, Cooking Light, and Allrecipes. She has written about gardens and gardening, travel, home decor, and, of course, food! She has wandered Queens, talking to street vendors in the aftermath ... Read More
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