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Like many people in their late 20s, I’ve been rejected by all manner of men without bed frames (okay, one had the Ikea Neiden, but that doesn’t count, right?) so I gave up on the prospect of breakfast in bed a long time ago. I don’t even want it. It’s a mess. I like a table. I don’t need to eat where I (try to) relax; let me have breakfast like a regular red-blooded American, shoving it down my gullet on the way to work or in front of a screen containing an article about how technology has ruined my life.
While I try to save bed—that sacred pillow-shrouded space—for sleep, remembering every embarrassing thing I’ve said in my life, and scrolling on TikTok, I do enjoy having coffee in bed. And then promptly spilling it all over my sheets and beginning my day in a state of despair.
That despair all ended when I bought myself a fancy breakfast tray. Now I have a flat surface upon which to set my coffee. It keeps my cup well within reach as I sit in bed scrolling on my phone in the morning, and it’s also great for weekends. I feel like I’m at a fancy hotel when I do the crossword and drink coffee in bed, all on the flat surface of my beautiful tray.
If you choose a tray that has feet and/or adjustable height, you’ll find that it has many uses beyond the bed. It can elevate your laptop if you’re working at a not-quite-ideally-situated desk or kitchen table. I don’t recommend working from the couch, but I do it frequently, and this tray allows me to keep my laptop at a workable height, without placing it precariously on top of a pile of pillows. You can also use a breakfast tray for eating dinner on the couch without balancing a plate on your lap or a faraway coffee table. You can even use a breakfast tray to eat or work from the floor of your living room, if you’re short on seating or just enjoy a change of scenery once in a while. Basically, a footed tray allows you to eat and work wherever you want, which is really the principle America was founded upon.
If you still believe in love, and by extension breakfast in bed, good for you. By all means, present a beautiful scrambled egg spread as a Grand Gesture this Valentine’s Day. But I’d urge you to go further. First, get a bed frame. Second: Give your loved one an upgraded breakfast tray, along with the breakfast upon it. Long after you’ve Oxy-cleaned the egg and hot sauce out of your white sheets, the tray will be there, providing a stylish space to work and eat all year long.
